2 Steps Forward, Then 1 Back
How Context Can Undermine Confidence
Last week I made the jump. (I did it!) I systematically practiced jumping from one wall to the other. I can still clearly remember, no I can clearly feel the fear that overtook my body as I initially contemplated the jump. In my mind, I knew I could do it, but my personal saboteur undermined my confidence.
This week, I went to the same park and looked at the same jump in a different location. In fact, it was at the opposite end of the nation from the other jump. The new context had 3 stone descending steps to its left, otherwise, everything was the same (distance, surface.). Those 3 stone steps shook my confidence.
How could three steps undermine what I had done? I remember one of my Parkour instructors saying how it is more challenging to balance at higher heights because it is harder to focus the eyes on a surface that is further from you, the ground underneath. Having this information didn’t make it any less frustrating.
How often do we have this same experience in music-making or our craft? We work on a passage, an interval, a rhythm, a pitch only to lose our footing for it in a different context.
What to do?
Tackling any challenge in one context gives us skill and experience to tackle it in other contexts, although we may have to again approach it from many perspectives to develop our “footing.” We may have to go through a similar process to overcome our weakness, but the process will most likely go more quickly, and perhaps we will uncover a new layer of skill.
What did I do at the park?
I went through the same process I initially used. This time, instead of three days, it took 5 minutes to convince myself that I had the skill to break the jump. Arriving at the solution more quickly was reassuring, empowering and exhilarating.
Be curious…