Gaining Agency

I write today with so much sadness in my heart.  I thought about skipping today, but then as I began making my first sounds, I was struck by how my personal agency has grown through the process I describe each day.  

Personal agency to initiate change in the world has never been more important. I will share what I have learned to give you a different lens to view this process of becoming an authentic, grounded musician.

I left grad school somewhat broken. At the end of my two years, my studio teacher said to me, “you should think about doing something different.” Wait, what?  I just invested two years of my life in the process and you tell me this?  This was a disappointing, frustrating, sad, and more.

Life continued, my path had its twists and turns.  Through it, I had so much self-doubt in my playing and in my voice and was just plain uncomfortable with who I was.  Maybe I didn’t know who I was?  

This all changed in 2005 when I encountered Body Mapping.  The process of learning about the body and its amazing design for movement helped me to begin to feel differently.  I learned to experience the process of playing from blowing air to embouchure movement.  It was fascinating.  As I went through the process, I became curious to know more.

This curiosity guided me to seek to understand the body, mainly the skeleton, and learn to move and experience movement.  I have flown on the trapeze, moved on static trapeze, studied MovNat, and now study Parkour. These experiences have not only propelled my playing but led me to discover more joy, and developed confidence, helping me to stand firmly on my own two feet (literally).  

I tell this story because I believe we must all stand up and say what we believe to contribute to change in our society.  The world needs our creative voices and needs our music.  

Never give up…